Keepons keeps you happy by keeping your glasses from slipping

Yup life sure is crap. I’m 29, going onto 30 next week and I am so not even close to where I thought I would be when I got to be 30.

I thought I’d have my own house, a car, maybe drive a BMW, also have another weekend ride like a Range Rover, be married to a beautiful woman, and have close to a million in the bank.

Let me tell you how it’s really like. I had to move back home after I got laid off as the area manager for a submarine restaurant. My parents are retired and it’s like it was when I was growing up, arguing all the time, trying to prove each other as wrong as possible. Whereas before it would only be a couple of hours a day since both had to work, now it’s constant bickering. Over the most inconsequential stuff too.

That’s probably why I don’t want to get married. Not that there are a lot of options on the table. Who wants to marry an unemployed 29 year old who still lives with his parents. Oh right, correction, a couple days ago I found a job so I’m not officially unemployed. I clean up at the local cultural center, but only on the weekends. Hopefully I’ll have more hours later on.

Yup pretty pathetic I must say.

How did it get this way?

Oh and I’m overweight too. And prone to Depression. When I’m not working I try to not come home until late. I usually end up drinking cheap alcohol at the Park. I pour it out of the bottle and into a thermos. I know I’m not fooling anyone.

And my stupid glasses keep falling.

I can’t even afford the $4 it costs to get Keepons. My buddy told me about them the other day in an email. He’s got a job as a programmer for a big software company you’ve definitely heard of.

He sent me the link.

But one problem is that my credit card is majorly in arrears.

He said these things stop your glasses from slipping down your nose and he showed me the link, chamightlike.com/collections/keepons.

But I’ll be darned if I ask my mom to buy them for me. If he was any kind of friend he’d order an extra pair for me.

Life goes on with my falling eyeglasses. Life sure is bad.